Ammijaan, My Love

Dear mother, My dear, my precious, my darling. My childlike innocence. Oh, Ammi How can I find another love like yours and how can I ever express myself to you? Perhaps you know already. I am weak in my love for you. Thinking about you pains me and makes me vulnerable. I doesn’t bring me…

On Sustaining

Can I sustain myself in the trivial scuffle I rub against each day? Can I ever go on with my day without having to fear my own mind and how it seems to unconsciously plan malicious vengeance every hour? And by sustaining I mean protecting. I mean tenderly putting to safety my innocence and my…

Days Gone By

Hush, dear heart! I am listening to days begone and trying to decipher the origin of my love. My love, your dear occupant! I am recollecting my own presence in older days. Have I lived all those years myself? Or did someone implant in me a false memory? Really! I don’t believe! You say you’ve…

Hide Away

My Heart has forgotten depth. It doesn’t feel emotions as it used to. Perhaps those emotions are not as raw as they earlier were. And it could be that it has fell into a slumber. And that superfluous vision has embalmed all memories of deep voyages. Maybe I need to wake up. Maybe I need…

Dreaming Reality

In a dream I saw that night, I reminded myself of that, which I must remember. In the dreamy whiteness of the homes that opened up on the street where I walked, wet in the soft winter rain, I learnt the lesson I often overlook in wakefulness. As I adored the purple blossoms inviting me…

The Choice

Which of the two is really mine? For this life entails us to choose one. One truth, one path, one reason, one home. Which one is mine? This one, that i am carving out of love and freedom? Or that one, where I nourished my heart to love? Which one? The one that is still…

From Loneliness

From my loneliness comes this homelessness And so is this loneliness a home for my homelessness. Not that I wish it so. Nor that I ever wished so to be. But life and its strangeness brought me where I am. And I am more hollow than complete More someone else than myself. Oftentimes I see…

I know

I know that when You want it to be, it will be. I know that I will have to wait until then. I know it is You who controls all affairs and holds everything in order. I know my longing and my waiting has an end to it. But I know that I do not…

On Homelessness

In seeking belongingness, I am looted. In moving homes, I am now homeless. In shifting, sliding and freeing away, I am tied in thicker chains. I am succumbing and dissolving in a vast space of being nowhere. Neither there, nor here. In present hollowness and dangerous unfamiliarity with what meets the eye, I am withering…

A Plain Reality

For once, dear time, stop. For once, give me some rest. I have been flowing through days, gushing. Building memories inadvertently, reluctantly. Almost sobbing over the loss of a time without memories. A time without movement and haste. A moment of seclusion and peace. A moment of silence. A moment of inward silence. Hushing the…